One central argument of Curious?, a new book by the psychologist Todd Kashdan, is that it's possible, in principle, to develop a sense of curiosity about anything at all - and that doing so may be the only viable path to fulfilment. This isn't always going to be easy. But it's not particularly hard when talking to Kashdan himself: his curiosity-piquing job title is director of the Laboratory for the Study of Social Anxiety, Character Strengths, and Related Phenomena at George Mason University, Virginia. Apart from anything else, I was curious about the width of his business cards.
Curiosity, Kashdan writes, isn't about "whether we pay attention, but how we pay attention to what is happening" - an orientation that seeks what's novel in a situation, rather than what's pleasant, and embraces uncertainty, rather than struggling for closure and control. (He cites numerous benefits, including tentative evidence that exercises to inculcate curiosity may stave off Alzheimer's.) The book is full of studies such as one in which an 18-year-old bodybuilder, among others, is induced to try crocheting. The researchers' conclusion: when asked to focus on the novel aspects of an experience they believe they'll dislike, people are more likely to return to it, voluntarily, later on.
We all pay lip service to the value of curiosity, but it is usually only lip service, especially in the world of self-help. Because if curiosity means being open to the unfamiliar, and to whatever emotions may result, then arguably any strategy for achieving happiness - for guaranteeing happy feelings, rather than sad ones - is intrinsically incurious. And such strategies don't work, Kashdan says, because we're socially and genetically hard-wired to adapt to experiences, whether good or bad. Create a life that thrills you, and the thrill will fade as it becomes familiar. Work on developing curiosity, by contrast, and you'll stand a better chance of resisting adaptation - because to become curious is, precisely, to train yourself to seek what's unfamiliar.
Crucially, though, this needn't mean pursuing the most bizarre experiences possible: you can avoid becoming the kind of person who boasts of travelling to ostentatiously obscure locations, or whose hobbies take 15 minutes to explain. Curiosity is a quality of attention, not a property of specific objects. "We don't realise that curiosity doesn't have to be about, say, waiting until we meet some really interesting person who's wearing a T-shirt of a band I love," Kashdan told me. "Instead, I can actually wield this curiosity, and seek what's intriguing about my world ... about people I think I know everything about, or someone I've been married to for 20 years."
That's not to say exciting experiences don't have a role. One of the most striking findings in Curious? is how much more lasting marital satisfaction couples report after undertaking novel, exciting activities together - from meeting new people to jetskiing - than after pleasant and relaxing, but familiar activities. The point, it seems, is that there's novelty in every situation if we look for it, but there's no harm in making the task easier by remembering to do plenty of new things. "As long as something is novel," Kashdan says, "we are still in the process of finding and creating meaning." And "finding and creating meaning" may be as good a definition of fulfilment as I've yet encountered.
oliver.burkeman@guardian.co.uk
And if you are still curious about being curious, check this out: http://ceicuriosity.tripod.com/
