i denied myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly and of showing immediately some absurdity in his proposition; and in answering i began by observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion would be right, but that in the present case there "appeared" or "seemed to me" some difference, etc. the conversation i engaged in went on more pleasantly; the modest way in which I proposed my opinions procured them a readier reception and less contradiction; i had less mortification when i was found to be in the wrong, and i more easily prevailed with others to give up their mistakes and join with me when i happened to be in the right.
the above quote attributed to benjamin franklin in the civility solution, and it is my goal for this year to live by the spirit of that quote.
other goals along those lines for the year include:
--keep a positive attitude
--respect others and grant them plenty of validation
--disagree graciously and refrain from arguing
--ask, don't tell
and i learn this morning that the civility solution falls under the umbrella of "courtesy literature" that has quite a long history with origins designed to educate the whole person not just give a veneer of politeness. there is a huge difference between gentle and sincere courtesy and paying lip service to rituals like please and thank you....this year i plan to evolve more to the old fashioned notions of manners.
