2 3 live&learn&rejoice: peanut butter water

April 10, 2011

peanut butter water

as of this writing, peanut butter water is only for dogs so don't whet your appetite for it just yet (oh puns are too funs. stop--no more i promise.)

peanut butter water is the topic. it is a "premium pet water" cleverly called "dogdration" and created by a guy named brian who has a dog named ophelia.

i do not know ophelia but imagine in the morning she probably does a gentle doga stretching to create the calming environment required for the daily massaging of her gums that leads to brushing of the teeth with squirrel-blood toothpaste so beloved by canines everywhere. after a spiritual walk along a labyrinth contemplating the smells of the day, ophelia might perhaps have a lie down for a bit of meditative napping or pawing through the latest issue of wet nose culture magazine.

afternoons probably vary for ophelia, a girl of many interests. a visit to the dog psychic might be in order or perhaps choir practice at the local dog run with other ladies of leisure is the activity of the day. clearly she is the type who visits pawsitively irresistible the first of each month when their new haute shipments arrive.

the evening routine has brian preparing a homemade, nutritious, 100% organic dinner for both of them while ophelia, i imagine, lounges nearby enjoying the spa channel music of sirius radio. she dines on an exactly correct portion-sized meal, then gets a mani-pedi or perhaps maybe a full shampoo and blow dry before crawling up in a king-sized hypoallergenic mattress for a full 10-hour sleep.

"man and rhonda are troubled by what might be called
the Dog Wish,
a strange and involved compulsion to be
as happy and carefree as a dog."

what James Thurber originally wrote in
And So To Medve
before an evil editor chopped out the good part

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